Just a quick disclaimer: the crew at Hipper is devastated. We are truly sorry to see summer go, and even though we know it will not happen, we wish it to return even sooner than possible.
Please come back, oh ye Golden Globe.
Summer of 2018 has come to its end, and the slow transition from the blazing hot summer nights to the cool, rainy, melancholic nights of autumn affects everyone differently. For some, it is a blessing – a cessation of the million degree (and seemingly endless) sunlight, throngs of tourists, muggy sleepless nights, riding public transportation which feels like an oven, the mosquitoes (blasted buggers!); while for others it’s a curse – no more swimming, walking around in their swimming suits, approaching cold, death looming, snow, flu season, colds, layers and layers of clothing…
Whichever category you fall into, fear nothing. We will help you. We will help you survive both the hellfire of summer and the paralyzing temperatures of winter.
What makes us experts?
Well, Hipper’s staff consists of several people extremely sensitive to weather changes, a few who cannot stand temperatures over 25C, and even one who runs off to Southeast Asia as soon as October rolls in. We’ve got you covered.
Let’s start with summer.
- Most obvious – air conditioning. If you’ve got it, you’re good. If you don’t, invest in one. However, in recent years, more and more people have taken a dislike to air conditioners. Why? Because it’s somewhat unhealthy to be walking around your house dressed like a penguin when it’s 35C outside. It can lead to health issues. It can also cause significant changes in your electricity bill. Last and least, don’t tell my cold-sensitive colleague I’ve told you this, but… air conditioners rock.
- Seaside. Lucky for humans, Earth is rich with water. Over 70% of the Earth’s surface is covered in water. So, it stands to reason, jump in. If you live in a landlocked country, fear not – there are rivers and lakes and other bodies of water available to you. If you’re one of the lucky ones who live close to the sea, then you’re in for a treat. Pack your bags, pack the kids, animals, all you can carry – and drive on out. But whatever you do, don’t take the pink pelican inflatable thing with you. Social networks, the crew at Hipper and humanity begs you.
- Shut yourself inside for the rest of the summer, from June till September. It stands to reason that if you don’t open your windows or doors, no heat can come in.
- Surround yourself with flowers! Flowers give off oxygen, right? Lots of flowers give off lots of oxygen, right again? So, in order to make breathing easier during the hard, gruelling summer months, get a whole bunch of flowers from your favourite online florist. Why, how wondrous, Hipper can help you here: Hipper sells flowers and flowers defeat the smothering heat, ergo Hipper defeats the smothering heat. Hipper–>Unbearable Summer.
- Move to a country with a more favourable climate. If you’ve suffered in the heat for too long, you can always do this. A sort of a last-resort-solution, but hey… we’ve seen worse. Pack your bags, quit your job, leave your parents, and move to a more moderate climate. Why hey, who can stand this Hell for much longer?
- STEP 1: Strap a fan to your head.
- STEP 1 alternative: Strap an air conditioner to your head.
- STEP 2: Move to a society that doesn’t judge people who walk around with fans and/or air conditioners.
- STEP 3: Avoid the nuthouse.
- Hibernate. If you share any similarities whatsoever with your fellow bear from the woods, take after them. Bears are smart. Whenever things get tough, bears have the option of going to sleep and waking up only when the bad stuff in their lives goes away. Not a bad way to live – you’d most certainly end up a happier, more content person.
The general consensus within Hipper’s office is that it’s much easier to survive the winter than summer (in regular conditions, you know, when you have somewhere to live and you’re not likely to freeze to death). Why? Because you can always put stuff on, but you can’t always take stuff off. Now onwards to brave the winter!
- Wear lots and lots of clothes. This one is easy. When you’re cold, your blood vessels constrict and your blood runs slower (doesn’t warm you up as well as), and you start shivering to warm yourself up. So, layer up in order to avoid becoming a block of ice.
- Hot beverages and hot food! Drink warm cocoa, mulled wine, hot tea, or whatever you can lay your hands on. Imagine a giant cup of cocoa and a bowl of steaming stew on the table, fresh bread with a golden crust, and hot chocolate pudding with cinnamon to follow… A winter’s night bliss.
- Did we mention layers?
- Similar advice as before. Move to a warmer climate this time. Take your pick: Cuba, the Bahamas, Thailand, Cambodia, the Philippines, Spain, whatever you please. There are numerous places in the world that will get your blood flowing, thaw off the layer of ice encasing your frame, and help you survive.
- Look forward to Christmas.
- Look forward to New Year’s Eve.
- Look forward to New Year’s.
- By mid-January, be disappointed by lack of consistency regarding your New Year’s resolutions.
- Wrap yourself in a blanket and don’t leave the apartment.
- Hot water bottles!
And there you have it. 20 pieces of advice by the Hipper crew on how to survive the Summer of 2018 as well as the upcoming Winter. But, you know, as soon as you get that head cold, flu or sinus infection this winter, we have some great ‘Get Well’ cards on our website. Happy wintering – tea, blankets, and lots of Vitamin C!