Know one of these people?
To all of us who are familiar with workaholics, the infamous men and women all but legally wed to their jobs, who always put their jobs first and foremost, who rarely have anything to talk about besides their work, and who are so engrossed and concerned with their jobs that nothing (or next to nothing) else can hold their interest.
At one point or another, you must have come across one. Right?
It is the briefcase-d, suited, breakfasted, clean ‘n’ shaven ‘n’ hair-all-perfect, up and ready to do their job even before the Sun is ready to do its own. And no one is a greater workaholic than the Sun.
So… how do you recognize a workaholic?
When your child yells “Daddy!” at the postman, or “Mommy!” whenever they see the cleaning lady dusting (the author apologizes for resorting to the use of traditional gender roles here, but they serve to illustrate a point), you know you’ve achieved Workaholic status.
It’s time to reconsider some things, and if needs be, quit.
Our team at Hipper devised a brief plan on how to spend Workaholics Day, a made-up holiday celebrated every 5th of July. It is a day when humanity praises all those men and women whose children have only heard stories about their elusive
Parents, whose little ones don’t really remember their faces, who scare their family whenever they come home before 8 o’clock in the evening.
We wanted this list to show the workaholics that we value their efforts, acknowledge all they are doing for us, and, most importantly, care about their health and well-being. So, dear Workaholics, how about cutting back on the 16-hour workdays? We can help you.
Here is the comprehensive plan for spending Workaholics Day, for you guys to relax, and for us to show you we care (unless you yourself, Dear Reader, are one of them, then Happy Workaholics Day to you!):
First of all, it is very easy for us to determine whether this year’s Workaholics Day falls on a workday or a weekend. It’s the 5th of July, Thursday, which is rather unfortunate.
However, need not despair.
This year we will celebrate our Workaholic Day on Saturday, just three days later. We can do that, since it’s a made-up holiday. Adapt and overcome in dire situations, right?
Now, once we’ve determined your upcoming date of infinite leisure and hedonism, it is time for us to dive headfirst into well-deserved nothingness.
First of all, a few days prior to Workaholics Day you will inform all your loved and unloved ones that you will be unavailable come Saturday. Okay?
Second, on Friday evening, right before you go to bed, switch off all electronic devices.
Heck, switch off your abacus if you have one. Also, switch off your children and your dogs and all external sounds of angst and terror (bribe, plead, do whatever it is you have to do to achieve perfect serenity).
Third, wake up on Saturday to perfect peace and tranquility. Sit up and stare at the rising sun. Remind yourself that life is worth living.
Remind yourself that it was possible to live even before you got caught up in work, in taking care of your children, in responsibilities, in everything that comprises your everyday – and remind yourself that it was, more often than not, a more peaceful and healthier time.
However, one need not revert back to the life they lived as a teenager or college student. For many of our workaholics, it may even be impossible to do so.
You can shift your expenses around, take better care of your money, reduce the number of working hours, and decide to spend your time in a healthier and more relaxing fashion. Everyone can do it.
(Excuses such as “Oh, I work a job such as this and that and there is no way for me to change it now” are, to an extent, legitimate.
It is often difficult to keep your head above all the mortgages, daycare centers, school expenses, bills, utilities, gas prices, etc. However, as a first step, you can always adapt your lifestyle to better fit your newfound philosophy.
You will start looking into other, bigger changes once you set up certain foundations to move towards your goal.)
Fourth, spend your Saturday doing everything slowly. And when we say everything, we mean everything.
You will move slowly, pick things up slowly, and even breathe slowly. You will not talk. This is your quiet day.
It is a day for reflection and introspection, a day for finding missing beauties of life and figuring out of ways to reclaim them.
Fifth, there will be no anger on Workaholics Day. No rage, no jealousy, no emotions at odds with the laws of nature.
Sixth, you will devise a real, actionable plan on how to best achieve your goals within the next 100, 200 or 365 days.
And you will have a long, hard talk with yourself on two different topics: on how to follow it, and on why following it will greatly increase your quality of life.
Seventh, you will spend an entire hour gazing at the sunset. Meanwhile, you will thank Nature for all the treasures it had bestowed upon you.
You will realize, fully and wholeheartedly, why you are so incredibly lucky even when your life doesn’t go the way you want it to.
You will also send out a promise into the ether, to everything around you, that you will act upon your newfound plan and life philosophy.
Eighth, break your vow of silence. Go back home, and tell your partner, friend, family that you love them.
Tell, or show, either way is fine. And since Workaholics Day is going to be a chance for you to transform yourself into a new you, it is vital that you let those around you know, explicitly, how much they mean to you.
For your wife, sister, friend, mother, grandmother, you can also buy a gorgeous bouquet of flowers, as a small token of appreciation.
For your husband, brother, friend, father, grandfather, get a bottle of wine, a great-looking card, or a box of chocolates (this may not be in the true spirit of cutting back and simpler living, as it involves purchasing new stuff, but it will show your family that you love them – and hey, a bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers aren’t going to impact your de-cluttering actions that much).
Ninth and penultimate, share your plan with your loved ones. Explain why you’re doing what you’re doing, and what you plan to get out of it.
Let them see that your effort to change your life will change theirs as well.
Last of all, a word of advice from your Hipper author: be kind, be good, and amidst this volcanic geopolitical turmoil, remember that we are all human beings.
Okay, that’s three pieces of advice.
I, and everybody at Hipper, raise a glass to a new you. Cheers!